


Hips Don't Lie

by CyrilOdahviing



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-21
Updated: 2012-12-01
Packaged: 2017-11-19 09:40:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/571883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyrilOdahviing/pseuds/CyrilOdahviing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard breaks out the moves, and Garrus? Let's just say he'll enjoy the show.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. After the Chaos...

**Author's Note:**

> A fill for the MEKmeme, so prompt is below.
> 
> In order to make ends meet, Earthborn Shepard had to take up stripping. No one knows about this, until one night she gets pressured by the crew into getting up on the poles in the bar thinking that she's going to make an ass out of herself but she ends up breaking out one of her old routines and totally floors everyone.
> 
> LI (prefer Garrus or Joker since I ship the hell out of them) is ridiculously turned on by Shepard's hidden talents.
> 
> Kmeme link: http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/5367.html?thread=19813367#t19813367

It had taken the SR2 Normandy two hours to travel to the Omega 4 Relay following the kidnapping of the crew, another two hours to save them and destroy the Collector Base, and five to limp back into Omega’s repair bays. 

 

However, Shepard refused to conduct full scale repairs on the crime ridden piss hole that was Omega, and only allowed Aria’s engineers to fix the drive core enough to survive the Mass Relay jumps to get to Illium. From there, it took them two days to reach the asari dominated city, where Liara T’Soni arranged for the battered frigate to be fully repaired.

 

Shepard and her crew sighed in relief as the Normandy finally rested on the docking clamps, safe in the dry dock where she would get the treatment she deserved. The Commander herself thought that her people deserved a break too, after going to hell and back with her crew all accounted for.

 

Lounging on her bed after a nap, Shepard activated her omni-tool, “EDI?”

 

“Yes, Shepard?”

 

“Give the announcement for a week of mandatory shore leave. Also, make sure everyone is off the ship within two hours, even Joker,” she added the last part with a snicker. Shepard knew that if it were up to her hard-headed pilot, he would never leave the ship, especially now that he was friends with EDI.

 

Speaking of which, EDI would have to remain behind to supervise the repairs, even if she could not interact with the engineers. Shepard herself would have to return every now and then to check on the state of the Normandy, even though Liara had sworn that the engineers would never dream of sabotaging the Normandy.

 

Just then, the door to her cabin slid open with a hiss, a familiar shadow filling the doorway with its bulk, “Say, Shepard, are you ever going to take your own orders?”

 

The Commander grinned from her spot among the sheets, “Hah! Never!”

 

A chuckle drifted over to her as the figure moved over to her bed, stopping beside her prone figure. Shepard’s eyes traced tan-grey plates and tan pink hide up to striking blue eyes, roving over deep blue lines that were painted over light face plates and faded away under deep scarring. For once, he had forgone his visor, causing Shepard to raise a brow, “No visor today?”

 

“Nah,” he shrugged, leaning down to press his forehead to the woman’s. “It was damaged in the fight. I’ll have to get it repaired.”

 

“So there is something you can’t calibrate,” a cheeky look passed upon Shepard’s features, making Garrus laugh.

 

“You wish,” he snorted. “But no, I don’t have the materials on the Normandy, sadly, and it’s cheaper to get it repaired since we’re here.”

 

A wide grin stretched across Shepard’s lips, “There there, don’t need to make excuses for yourself. There are other things you’re good at.”

 

“Things like this?” Garrus growled playfully as he dipped his head down to nip at her throat, causing her to moan softly. Swirling his tongue in circles, he lathed his way down to her exposed collarbone, nipping at it gently -soft enough not to break her skin, yet hard enough to make her neck flush. His hands, which he had placed on either side of her shoulders to brace himself, shifted as his left hand traveled down her body, slipping under the thin tank top she wore to caress the underside of her breast. 

 

Shepard sighed dreamily as he pulled the tank top over her head to expose her chest, his tongue slithering out to cover her skin with saliva, the rough texture of his tongue making her shiver delightfully. Her eyes shuttering closed, she arched her back, thrusting her chest towards him in a blatant show of want, even as he shifted himself atop her to straddle her hips and wrap his arms around her torso.

 

Garrus pressed his face into the valley of her breasts, breathing in deeply to take in her scent. The last time he had been pressed up against her like this was before the Omega 4 Relay, when they had engaged in some tension relief and sought comfort just before shit hit the fan in the Collector Base. That night, he had stuttered through complimenting her, hastily racking his mind for something that would capture what she truly meant to him. In the end, he came up with some bumbling compliment on her waist being supportive and her nice hair. 

 

It was true, he found her waist supportive. Very supportive; despite not being as small as a female turian’s waist. It allowed him to have a good hold on her, and it did help that her skin was satin smooth. Not to mention her intoxicating smell. Garrus could not describe it; it was a sweet, subtle smell, with a hint of musk that Garrus attributed to all humans, and a dash of something uniquely Shepard.

 

Purring gently in his chest, Garrus let his hands drift down to her hips, about to tuck his talons in the waistband of her sleeping pants when a ping interrupted them.

 

Shepard groaned as she answered her comm, “What is it?”

 

“Hey Commander,” it was Joker, “Wanna have a few rounds of drinks at Eternity? All on Cerberus.”

 

Letting his head fall back onto the cushion of Shepard’s breasts, Garrus grumbled under his breath, “Just tell them to go on without us.”

 

Shaking her head, Shepard sighed, “They deserve a little downtime, Garrus. Come on, we can finish this later.” She raised a finger to her comm and called Joker back, “Yeah, we’ll be there in a bit.”

 

“Got it. We’ll save a private room to party in,” Joker’s evil laugh did not bode well for the evening, but what the hell, they just survived a suicide mission. A reason as good as any to party the night away.

 

She pushed Garrus to the side and rolled over him to get off the bed, neatly dodging his attempts to drag her back into bed with a cheerful laugh and pulled down her tank top. “Not so fast, mister,” she wagged a finger at him. “Go change into something comfortable, I’ll meet you in five.”

 

“Make that ten, Commander,” a sing-song voice piped up from outside her cabin, which was followed by three distinct giggles.

 

Garrus padded over to the door and activated the panel, revealing Kasumi, Tali and -surprisingly- Liara. Tali pushed Garrus to the open elevator doors happily, “She’ll meet you down there in a bit. Go and change.”

 

Allowing himself to be thrown into the elevator, he sent Shepard one last grin before the doors closed to bring him down to the crew deck. With her lover out of the way, the three women seemed to grin evilly at the clueless Commander.

 

“Er…guys? What’s up?” she tried to smile but failed as Tali and Kasumi barreled into her and dragged her to her bathroom.

 

Liara smiled brightly, “I have something for you. A thank you for helping me with the Shadow Broker.”

 

“Ah, you didn’t need to get me anything,” Shepard smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of her head as Kasumi opened the hidden door, then her smile dropped and her expression suddenly deadpanned. “Oh no. Kasumi, you promised!”

 

The Japanese master thief grinned cattishly under her hood, “I did! But they didn’t.”

 

“Fucking loopholes,” Shepard grumbled before she was bundled into the bathroom, all three women cackling (well, Kasumi cackled, Tali giggled and Liara merely grinned widely) all the way.


	2. Getting Ready

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited since it was uploaded onto the Kmeme. No difference in story, just changes to grammar and spelling.

Once the door had slid shut and locked behind Liara, she hung her gift on a rack and joined the other two in stripping Shepard. To her credit, the Commander struggled and attempted to fend them off to great success until Liara remembered she was a biotic. 

 

With a simple clench of her hand, Shepard was engulfed in a blue stasis field, making her curse and swear as Tali and Kasumi made quick work of her sleeping clothes. Off came the plain tank top and sleeping pants, and even her underwear, making Shepard grit her teeth. 

 

Liara, still maintaining the stasis field, reached for her little package and withdrew a set of underwear that Shepard would never touch in a million years, not even with a barge pole.

 

“Is that-?!” she gasped as Kasumi and Tali worked together to slip the offending items on their commander, ignoring her hisses and curses as Kasumi finally snapped the last clip into place.

 

“It looks good on you, Shepard,” Liara beamed at the ruffled woman, who merely grunted and looked in the mirror opposite her. Covering her lady parts was a set of black lace lingerie. The bra was nothing but two cups clasped together that hefted her breasts to create an alluring cleavage, and had two straps circling her neck in a halter-neck style, while the strap looping around her back was skin coloured, blending in with her skin tone seamlessly, almost as if there was not any fabric on her back at all. A matching pair of black panties completed the set, and she was relieved to feel that it covered her butt, almost like skin tight shorts. 

 

“Now, for the main event,” Kasumi wriggled her fingers as Tali cackled, the quarian helping Liara withdraw her present from the wrapping it was in. Even though Shepard was still within the stasis field that held her immobile, she managed to wriggle around enough for Liara to crease her forehead and narrow her eyes in concentration.

 

“I’m not going to put on a dress, damnit!” Shepard flailed as much as she could, trying to get away from the sure to be tight fitting dress that they were advancing on her with. 

 

Tali giggled, “You’ll be thanking us later, Shepard.”

 

The commander’s wail of ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO’ could be heard from the CIC, where Garrus waited and laughed as he heard the faint sounds of shrieking and laughter from the top deck. Well, at least the girls were having fun.

 

Not 5 minutes later, the elevator arrived at Deck 2, the doors sliding open quickly to reveal four figures, three holding the fourth with all their strength. 

 

“Damnit Liara! I’m not going to Eternity like this!” the near unrecognisable figure in the middle hissed and writhed in their hold. 

 

“Aw, Shep, don’t worry. You’ll blow everyone away with this look!” Kasumi grinned and shoved the woman into Garrus. The turian merely blinked and steadied her as she righted herself using his chest, sharp blue eyes focusing on her face with unconcealed surprise.

 

Shepard had a bit of makeup enhancing her features, likely the work of the madly grinning master thief. Her lips were accentuated by gleaming gel-like ‘lipstick’, her irises standing out with the smoky eye shadow and mascara they applied to her eyes. His clear blue eyes trailed down her face, to her bared neck that was graced by a single, tasteful silver necklace, down to her exposed cleavage that he was quickly getting a liking for. 

 

In fact, looking her over, Garrus may have to convince their dress-hating commander to keep her current outfit. The skin tight black dress fit her perfectly, the fabric pulled taut over her chest, waist and hips, his attention drawn to the middle of the three. 

 

The neckline of the dress was low and formed a sloping vee to expose her cleavage, the straps of the dress forming a halterneck. As he brushed his hands over her back, he froze as he realised that her perfect back was bare until he felt something thin snag against his gloved claws. He looked over her shoulder and found clear straps forming a cross over her back, presumably to keep her dress from falling off her body, and left her back bare to the world until it rounded off at the small of her back.

 

\--

 

Garrus inhaled sharply and took a step back, wanting to see more of her and was not disappointed. The small black dress ended at mid thigh, and noticed a thin silver zipper trailing from the hem to her hip on her right side. It was also then that Garrus found that Shepard was a slight bit taller than usual, and looked down to see that his human lover wore a pair of black high heels that left her long, long legs bare to his gaze.

 

“Like what you see?” teased Tali from behind the couple. Shepard could not help but blush at her turian partner’s perusal of her body.

 

“This was absolutely not my idea,” she piped up as she glared at her friends playfully.

 

“Clearly not,” rumbled Garrus amusedly. “The Reapers would sooner keel over before you willingly buy and wear a dress to go out.”

 

“And clearly the Reapers are still threatening the galaxy, so not today,” she huffed and tried to maintain an irritated facade before a smile broke out on her face. “But it’s worth it to see that expression on your face.”

 

“Told you,” the three chimed together, still snickering at the duo before them. Exchanging a subtle look between the three of them, Kasumi and Tali nodded and strode forward, while Liara followed behind them.

 

Shepard, oblivious to their secret plan, continued to ogle the fine turian specimen in front of her. Tall, nearly 5 inches taller than herself, Garrus was possibly the most handsome turian she had ever met (and she had met a lot of turians in her lifetime), despite the scars on the right side of his face -which in her opinion only made him look more masculine. What can she say? She had a thing for guys with scars.

 

A movement out of the corner of her eye made her stiffen and turn in reflex, only to be about a second too late as she felt two pairs of hands land on her biceps, clamping down as though to brace for struggling.

 

Garrus could only watch in amusement as the two smaller women wrestled their taller commander to the airlock, laughing all the way mixed in with Shepard’s muttered curses as she let them drag her through the decontamination chamber.

 

“Coming, Garrus?” Liara asked as she brought up the rear, stopping at the turian’s side.

 

“Yeah,” he nodded before following the trio of women. “This wouldn’t happen to be your idea, would it?”

 

Liara’s blue eyes took on a strange gleam as she smirked slowly, “Hmm, why would you think that?”

 

“The fact that you’re pretty much the only one who would dare to force a dress on Shepard,” Garrus shrugged. “And Kasumi had already promised Shepard that she wouldn’t force her into another dress. Tali didn’t have enough time to buy a dress, so that only leaves you.”

 

“Glad to see your investigative skills have not waned in those two years, Garrus,” Liara chuckled. “Well, just enjoy the show, Garrus. You will not be disappointed.”

 

Garrus grinned, “That, I believe.” 

 

As they exited the airlock and entered Nos Astra’s docks, the first thing Garrus saw was the trio of well dressed females walking -with Shepard being dragged- down the walkway to the shopping area. Multiple asari turned their head as the commander walked past them, some even whispering to their friends with a lusty look on their faces. 

 

To his horror and amusement, even a volus at the upgrades shop even cat-called, Kasumi and Tali managing to prevent a suddenly struggling Shepard from strangling the stoutly man. Liara chuckled beside him, her eyes still glued to Shepard’s well formed backside. Garrus still did not understand the allure of a female’s hindquarters, but he had to admit that her waist was well accentuated. Very well accentuated, as a passing turian also stopped to stare.

 

Luckily, the club was near the docking area, and before long they entered the club, which was half filled with the Normandy’s crew. At the back of the club, in a more secluded area complete with some dancers, was the Normandy’s ground crew, accompanied by the engineers and even Yeoman Chambers. Joker waved them over and whistled as he caught sight of the commander.

 

“Damn, Commander!” he grinned widely. “You clean up good!”

 

“Oh, shut up,” Shepard threw back jokingly, a smile crossing her face even as she was pushed onto a seat, Garrus following her lead to sit beside her. He looked around their little corner of the bar, and saw some dancers dominating the stage nearby, all of them asari and scantily clad. 

 

Despite the amount of veritable eye candy on stage, his eyes returned to his commander, and stayed glued in the approximate location of her torso (read: cleavage and waist). Jack had just ordered up a round of drinks from the asari matriarch manning the bar in their area, and was already passing out their poison as Kasumi, Tali and Liara settled themselves on the couches nearby.

 

Miranda, Jacob, Jack, Grunt, Zaeed, Kelly, Joker, Chakwas and Engineers Kenneth and Gabby were seated around their little area, but the presence of Samara, Thane and even Legion surprised Garrus. He never thought that the Justicar would want to attend such events, and Thane’s condition was not getting any better, so he would often choose to remain upon the Normandy to meditate or whatever it was he did in Life Support. Legion was probably around to record data of organics partying, if that made any sense, but the geth happily started talking to Tali (who honestly did not look the least bit uncomfortable) who was seated beside the artificial intelligence.

 

Shepard snorted as he related this bit of his thoughts to her, “Who knows what Legion wants to do here, as long as he’s here. It’s a massive stroke of luck that all of us can be here, drinking and partying together.” She shifted in her seat, trying to cross her legs without flashing the entire bar. The skirt was tight and short, riding up every time she fidgeted on the couch. “Damned dress.”

 

“I think it looks great; you look great,” he leaned close to purr in her ear, relishing the shudder he felt as he pressed against her arm.

 

“Oh, do you?” she whispered seductively. “Why don’t I show you-” She was cut short by Jack suddenly getting to her feet and yelling.

 

“Fuck, this party’s boring! Let’s play some drinking games and get the fucking mood up!” she took a huge gulp of her beer and slammed it down on the table. “I’m not half as shit faced drunk as I should be.”


	3. The Drinking Game

Kelly Chambers seemed to brighten up then, “Oh! Oh! I know one! I Never!”

 

Chakwas groaned and took a sip of her asari cocktail, “I am so bad at this game…”

 

Grinning widely, Jack cheered, “Fuck yeah! Hey Aethyta, give us some batarian uncut!”

 

The bottles were passed down, two per person, and luckily it was amino neutral, meaning that both Tali and Garrus could happily drink it without getting sick. Shepard chuckled as they started to move the couches such that they were in a sort of circle, “So, who’s first?”

 

“I’ll go,” Tali volunteered. “I have never eaten real meat.”

 

“Aw come on,” Joker groaned, “Just how many of us-” Only Garrus, Miranda, Jacob and Samara took a sip. “Seriously? Well then.” Then he himself took a generous gulp.

 

Liara, having sat next to Tali, was next to offer up a (not)confession, “I have never had sex with a woman.” 

 

“Now this party’s gettin’ started!” Jack grinned widely as she downed two fingers of her beer. Chakwas let out a resigned sigh as she, too, took a gulp. Joker and Jacob clinked their bottles as they took their gulp simultaneously. Samara smiled serenely and took a dainty sip, while Thane seemed to slip into a memory as he absentmindedly drank from his bottle. Garrus, on the other hand, winked at Shepard even as he gulped down two fingers, making the woman snort and smile at the same time. And in front of the entire group, Kenneth, Kelly and Gabby drank languorously with Kelly adopting a dazed look on her face afterward, as though remembering the event. Zaeed had a secret smile on his face even as he took a leisurely gulp from his own bottle.

 

“Hey Vakarian,” Jack raised her bottle. “You’re up next.”

 

Garrus tapped a claw on his bottle even as he smirked at Shepard out of the corner of his eye, “I’ve…never had a crush on Shepard.”

 

Shepard raised a brow at her lover, and he merely grinned back at her, “This will be interesting.” Then he took a gulp of his drink. 

 

Looking around, Shepard saw a shocking amount of people taking drags from their drinks. Thane drank, Kelly drank, Kenneth drank, Liara drank, Joker drank, Jacob drank, Tali took a discreet sip through her emergency induction port, and Kasumi took a blatant gulp from her glass. Samara sipped from her glass, a small smile on her face, and to everyone’s absolute surprise, Mordin took a drink.

 

“Mordin?!” everyone, even Shepard was bug eyed.

 

“If considered human, would do you. In any case, have low sex drive, not totally deprived of feelings,” the professor smiled gently at her. Shepard returned the smile gently, and raised her glass to the man.

 

“Okay, my turn right?” she was trying to prevent her crew from making the salarian professor uncomfortable, if he ever did. ”Alright, uh, I’ve never been stuck in a glass tube.”

 

“Gee, thanks Shep,” Jack sneered as she tossed down a mouthful, Grunt finishing the last of his ryncol and motioned for one more just as she did, not even bothering to comment on how that comment might have been aimed at him. Miranda sighed and downed two fingers with resignation, then turned to look at Mordin with some surprise as he, too, drank a little of his Sur’Kesh wine.

 

“What?” the large eyed professor blinked innocently. “Was an accident.” Chakwas tried to drink as discreetly as she could, but was caught when Jack guffawed.

 

“What happened this time, doc?” she cackled, her beer sloshing onto her pants as she tried to stay on the couch.

 

“It was a dare back in the academy,” Chakwas huffed. “I believe it’s my turn, right? Well then, I’ve never done a turian.”

 

“Thanks Chakwas,” Shepard groaned and drank, Garrus chuckling before he also took a gulp from his own bottle. Kelly, predictably, drank, as did Chakwas (“Curiosity!” “Stop writing it off as curiosity!”). To everyone’s absolute surprise, Kasumi took a drink of her batarian uncut, her very first.

 

“Kasumi?” Shepard looked amused. “I thought you only had eyes for Keiji?”

 

The hooded master thief merely grinned, “I don’t kiss and tell, Shepard. Only know that there was a turian somewhere in the past.”

 

“Don’t suppose it’s anyone we know?” Garrus quipped cheekily.

 

“Don’t suppose so,” was Kasumi’s cryptic answer as she leaned back in her seat, declaring the conversation over. Shrugging, Garrus nodded over to Zaeed.

 

The mercenary suddenly had a cheeky look in his eye, “I have never killed a reaper.”

 

Joker, Garrus, Tali and Shepard groaned and drank, while Jack gave a whoop and downed the last of her drink. Then Zaeed smirked, “Crew included.” 

 

“Fuck,” Chakwas snarled and finished up her bottle, motioning for a new one. Thane, who was sitting next to Zaeed, had the honours (or not) to go next.

 

“I have never done it four times in a row,” Thane began, then took a generous gulp of his drink. Garrus nudged Shepard cheekily and they both took a drink, causing the entire group to chuckle, even Samara. Kelly giggled and downed her drink, Chakwas following soon after.

 

“Wild bitch,” Zaeed mumbled jokingly as he, too, downed two fingers of his beer.

 

Samara was next, and she offered something that made everyone in the group double take, “I have never had sex with two beautiful women at the same time.” 

 

Chakwas sighed and downed three fingers, Kelly, Kenneth and even Gabby following. Shepard had almost forgotten that her engineers were there; they had been so quiet throughout the partying. Zaeed grinned and finished up the last dregs of his beer and reached for another with glee. 

 

“Never died,” Mordin offered.

 

“Never killed a thresher maw,” added Kenneth.

 

“Never been resurrected,” Miranda smirked.

 

Shepard groaned and face palmed, “What is this, ‘Pick on Shepard’ Night?” Then she took a drink.

 

“That’s three drinks, Shep! You’ve done all three!” Jack protested, ignoring Grunt, Garrus, Tali and Liara who drank along with her (they, too, killed a Thresher Maw).

 

“And a gulp for every maw you killed,” Liara piped up with a small smile, her expression innocent as Shepard threw a glare over at her.

 

“There must be some underhanded scheme to get me drunk around here,” she wagged her finger at everyone as she took a drag from her bottle, finishing it and reaching for another to down four more fingers. “Ugh, next.”

 

Kelly hiccuped, raising her glass as she thought hard, finally coming up with something as a grin crossed her face, “I have never pole danced!” 

 

Chakwas grimaced and took a swig, so did Kasumi(to everyone’s surprise) and Jack (as expected). And to everyone’s absolute horror, Shepard tried to take a discreet sip of her drink.

 

The entire table’s eyes shot over to the commander who started to blush, then cleared her throat, “What?”

 

Tali looked utterly amused, as amused as anyone could see through her mask, “You? Pole danced? When your existing skills are-“

 

“Hey hey hey, that’s different!” Shepard waved her hand, as though to dismiss the thought and looked genuinely affronted. “I’ll have you know that I used to be a good dancer, okay?”

 

“By whose standards?” snickered Jack before she started guffawing, clearly thinking of the commander doing that awkward two step on stage.

 

Miranda, on the other hand, looked curious, “When did you pole dance? It wasn’t in the files.”

 

“I don’t think it would be,” Shepard shook her head. “It was when I was still on Earth as a teen, trying to get by on the streets. One day I just decided that I had it on the streets, and went to this club that a friend danced at, said it paid good cash. So I was hired, and I danced for a year, then I joined the Alliance, and the rest is history,” explained Shepard with a careless tone as she got a new screwdriver.

 

Still nearly everyone around the circle tried to muffle their laughter, even Garrus, who sobered up quickly as his human lover glared at him out of the corner of her eye. 

 

“Prove it!” Jack waved her bottle in the direction of the stage, where the dancers were changing shifts and thus leaving the poles empty.

 

“Uh, no,” shaking her head, Shepard slumped in her seat. “Don’t think so.”

 

“Oh come on, Shep,” Kasumi grinned widely. “Just once!”

 

“No.”

 

“Shepard,” it was Tali now.

 

“No.”

 

“Commander…just one song, it won’t kill you, you know,” Joker joined in. 

 

“No, I’m not making an ass of myself.”

 

“Just once, and then we’ll forget about it,” Kelly pouted, her eyes watering in a perfect rendition of puppy dog eyes.

 

Wheeling her head around, Shepard was faced with the pouts of half of her team, with Mordin, Thane, Samara, Liara and even Garrus looking at her with amused interest in their eyes. Grunt merely grunted and took a sip of his ryncol, “Like my Battlemaster will ever back down from anything.”

 

Jack took her cue from that and leered at her commander, “What, chicken, Shepard? Never took you for a coward.”

 

Shepard knew that they were riling her up, but damn if it wasn’t working. She scowled and slammed her glass on the table, getting to her feet, “One song. One song and the lot of you better shut up.”

 

“Put on a show, Shepard,” Zaeed drawled from his little corner. “I might have some credits for you.”

 

“Shut up, bosh’tet!” interestingly it was Tali who threw her empty bottle at the former mercenary. In fact, Garrus looked about ready to throw his own when his dextro buddy did.

 

Shepard groaned and rubbed her temple with a hand, desperately trying to remember one or two of her more modest routines on the pole. She was pretty sure she still had enough strength in her arms and abdomen to pull off her old tricks. Then again being 32 did bring about some strange things to her body, so did being resurrected, but she was definitely not going to make a fool of herself in front of her crew. Not on her life.


	4. The Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited some grammar errors and typos. HTML doesn't work so I just left the italics there, so you'd know that it's in italics. I'm just talking in circles, aren't I?

Shepard walked up the steps to the stage, grimacing as the strippers all shot her a grin and abandoned the stage to retreat behind the glowing wall, leaving her alone. Suddenly the spotlight shone upon her, the rest of the light dimming in the back of the club.

 

Checking the invisible straps on her heels, she sighed and pushed her hair away from her face…now how did that routine go?

 

There was no time to mull over her past as the beginnings of a beat thrummed through her body, her pulse slowly attuning itself to the rhythm. Closing her eyes, Shepard could almost imagine she was back at the Red Stiletto, twisting and writhing around her pole to get more credits out of the sods who watched her dance.

 

It was easy to fall into the practised steps of her routine, almost like she never forgot it at all. Shepard recognised the song, in fact it was one of her old tracks that she danced to. All the better to forget she was making a fool out of herself in front of her crew, then.

 

The electric guitar and beat of the drums almost made her smile in nostalgia, before she began to slip into her memories. She walked slowly around the pole twice, a hand circling the metal while her right slipped down to the zip tab on her thigh.

 

/i/My girlfriend’s a dick magnet

My girlfriend’s gotta have it

She’s hot, can’t stop, up on stage doing shots

Tip the man, he’ll ring the bell, get her drunk she’ll scream like hell/i/

 

She flashed a flirty smile at her fixated lover as she pulled the tab up the zip near her hip, enough to show the bottom of her lacy panties. Taking one more round around the pole, she listened for the beat and swung herself up and around, her legs straight and splayed until she pulled herself into a curl in the middle.

 

/i/Dirty girl, getting down, dance with guys from outta town

 

Grab her ass, acting tough, mess with her, she’ll fuck you up/i/

 

Garrus gawked as Shepard took to the pole like a pro. She bent herself around the pole sideways, almost like she was floating on air as she suddenly performed a mid air split with her legs, showing the audience her black underwear for a second before she tucked her leg under her arm, the pole locked between her thighs. What he wouldn’t give to be that piece of metal right now.

 

/i/No one really knows if she’s drunk or if she’s stoned

But she’s coming back to my place tonight/i/

 

Holding on to the metal with one hand and her thighs, she arced her right leg over her back and let the sole of her shoe come an inch to her head, her body bending deliciously as she did so. Suddenly, she let go of the pole, her arced leg whipping back to wrap around the pole even as she fell, suspending her and slowing her descent down the pole. 

 

/i/She likes to shake her ass, she grinds it to the beat

She likes to pull my hair when I make her grind her teeth

I like to strip her down, she’s naughty to the end

You know what she is, no doubt about it

She’s a bad, bad girlfriend/i/

 

The turian could only gasp at the flexibility she displayed as she formed a diagonal inverted T shape with her body, her legs forming a split that the females of his species could not hope to perform. The fabric wrapping her waist tightened taut over her abdomen, her torso itself arced gracefully and even more so as she reached her hands out to brace her hands on the floor.

 

Her leg let go of the pole once her hands were firmly on the ground, showing off her long, strong legs and her strength as she wrapped her other leg around the pole, using her free leg to create momentum to twirl herself around the pole once more, her hands leaving the ground to grasp the metal. Having completed one revolution, Shepard uncurled her leg in a show of extreme flexibility and finally set her legs on the floor, straightening up seductively, her chest thrust out and waist curled as she slowly took another step around the pole.

 

/i/Red thong, party’s on, love this song, sing along

Come together, leave alone, see you later back at home

No one really knows if she’s drunk or if she’s stoned

But she’s coming back to my place tonight/i/

 

Then, she fell into a familiar routine that Garrus had seen the strippers perform before. Parting her feet, she crouched down and undulated her spine in a ripple, her body sliding against the pole even as she gave him those bedroom eyes he couldn’t resist. She even let her tongue slip across her glossy lips, her eyes dark and sultry even as she straightened up once more against the pole.

 

/i/I say no one really knows just how far she’s going to go

But I’m gonna find out later tonight/i/

 

Damn it, if she kept doing that, Garrus would have to steal her off the stage. Not to mention he wasn’t the only one watching this performance. Looking around, he saw Joker’s eyes wide and mouth open in an uncharacteristic display of complete and utter shock, his drink forgotten in his hand as his eyes were glued onto Shepard’s body as she faced her back towards the pole, her hips swinging to the beat, almost like she was grinding against the pole.

 

“Now that’s some sweet ass,” Garrus heard behind him. He turned to see the asari matriarch tending the bar looking at his mate with lustful appreciation in her eyes. “I’d tap that.”

 

/i/She likes to shake her ass, she grinds it to the beat

She likes to pull my hair when I make her grind her teeth

I like to strip her down, she’s naughty to the end

You know what she is, no doubt about it

She’s a bad, bad girlfriend/i/

 

Zaeed had a creepy grin on his face as he chuckled next to Jack. The tattoed convict, for one, was whooping and cheering the Commander on, actually swinging her own hips to the beat. Tali was giggling incessantly, but if the slight fog on her helmet was any indication, she liked the performance too. The drell’s eyes were locked onto Shepard’s butt as she performed another one of her feats of strength and agility, grasping the pole above her head and pulling her body upwards and behind in a controlled backflip, her legs perfectly straight in a split as she did so.

 

/i/Doesn’t take her long to make things right

But does it make her wrong to have the time of her life

The time of her life?

My girlfriend’s a dick magnet, my girlfriend’s gotta have it/i/

 

She landed with no difficulty even in her high heels and shook her ass to the beat playfully, causing Jacob to wolf whistle in his inebriated state. Even Miranda looked amused by the turn of events. Mordin had a calculating look in his eye as he watched her climb up the pole once more, tucking her body in a curl and unfurling it to wrap a leg around the pole, letting her body hang down once more, this time with only her leg and flank supporting her as she pulled her free leg towards her head once more.

 

/i/She’s a gold digger, now you figure out it’s over, pull the trigger

Future’s finished, there it went, savings gone, the money spent

Look around and all I see is no good, bad and ugly

Man, she’s hot and fixed to be the future ex-Miss Connelly/i/

 

Samara adopted a dazed look on her face, as though reminiscing, while the trio of humans, Kenneth, Kelly and Gabby, merely watched with a look of awe on their faces. Shepard let go of her leg slowly, grasping the pole again and bringing her legs down in a pin wheel, emphasising her incredible strength and flexibility as she did so. Once her feet hit the ground, she pressed her chest against the pole, her eyes locking with Garrus’ blue eyes.

 

Making sure not to lose eye contact, she licked her lips sensually and slid down the metal, making sure her chest never left the metal, her hands slipping up to caress the pole as if it were his leg. Oh how he wished it was his leg, as she lifted a knee and wrapped it around the pole as she straightened up. 

 

/i/She likes to shake her ass, she grinds it to the beat

She likes to pull my hair when I make her grind her teeth

I like to strip her down, she’s naughty to the end

You know what she is, no doubt about it

She’s a bad, bad girlfriend, she’s a bad, bad girlfriend/i/

 

Shepard winked at him once, then unfurled her leg from the metal only to angle her body facing the crowd. She bent her body backwards, her chest flush with the bar and her hands holding the pole tightly as she pulled off one last backflip for the crowd.

 

/i/She’s a bad, bad girlfriend/i/

 

Shepard landed on her feet with cat like grace, sending Garrus a flirty grin as the song ended. She let go of the pole with a smirk and got off the stage, flopping back down on the sofa as she looked at the gobsmacked faces all around her.

 

Garrus could do nothing but shift in his seat, trying to get his plates to tighten and not let his erection slip free of its protective pouch. A cheeky glance from Shepard showed that she knew what he was trying to hide, and he merely chuckled sheepishly and crossed his legs.

 

“Dayum, Shep,” Jack cackled and toasted the commander with her half empty beer. “That was HOT. I’d fuck you now if I could.”

 

“Good thing the Commander’s taken, eh?” Joker grinned widely and was treated to a gentle shove from the former convict.

 

“Shut up,” was Jack’s eloquent retort as Tali and Liara started giggling, with Kasumi grinning behind her bottle.

 

“You should have danced for the Collectors, Shepard,” Kasumi chuckled. “They would have died of nosebleeds before you could blow them to kingdom come!”

 

“On that, I agree,” Liara smiled gently, her eyes still dazed. 

 

Samara smiled serenely and raised her glass to the commander, as though commending her for a good show. Thane had his hands folded on his abdomen, and nodded in her direction as her eyes fell on him, “Magnificent, Siha.”

 

Kelly, Kenneth and Gabby were speechless, with Kelly suddenly bursting into laughter, “You have to teach me how to do that someday, Commander!”

 

Shepard rubbed the bridge of her nose but allowed a bubble of laughter escape her lips, “I don’t quite think so, Kelly.”

 

“I think I would have paid to see it again, honey,” Matriach Aethyta quipped over from her corner at the bar, causing Zaeed to raise his bottle.

 

“So would I,” the grizzled mercenary barked out. “Who knew the big bad Commander Shepard had it in her?”

 

Miranda smirked from her spot, “Certainly not me…” 

 

Chatter started to flit through the group, all of them commenting on their Commander’s performance, none of them paying attention to the woman in question.

 

Seeing this, Shepard turned to her mate, shifting closer to him until her thigh was flush with his, “Did you like that?”

 

“You know I did,” he leaned in close and purred into her cheek, nuzzling her gently. 

 

Shepard’s grin took a seductive turn, “Then…would you like an encore? In… private?”

 

The turian felt his plates loosen at her sensuous whisper and wrapped an arm around her sexy waist, “Now?”

 

Crossing her legs, she slid her upper foot up and down his leg, a hand landing on his nearest thigh, “Matriarch Aethyta has a special room in the back for private dances.”

 

“Uh, definitely,” he managed to utter as Shepard slipped a hand up to the back of his head, and rubbed just the way he liked it under his crest. “Well, uh, what are we waiting for?”

 

She could only grin as she got to her feet quickly and tugged him up, striding quickly to the bar where Aethyta nodded to the partially hidden door with a smirk. “You’re one lucky bastard, you know that?” she called out to the former vigilante as Shepard pulled him through the threshold.

 

“I never forget it,” he grinned back at her and closed the door behind him, the asari matriarch snickering to herself until she remembered that the walls and doors inside were soundproof.

 

“Damn it,” she grumbled under her breath as she went back to attending to her customers and refilling the Normandy crew’s cups.


	5. Behind Closed Doors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some grammar mistakes, a few punctuation errors, all edited in this version.
> 
> I realised that this version is different from the one on kmeme, and this is because this is the raw version that I churned out on word document. The one on the MEKmeme is slightly edited, and so it's a little different. For the kmeme version, go to: http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/5367.html?thread=19813367#t19813367

Once the door slid shut behind him, Shepard grinned and pushed Garrus into the sofa spanning one wall in the decent sized room. It was a room built for private functions (take it how you will), dimly lit like the rest of Eternity it was quite big, with a plush sofa lining one wall and an entire wall of light directly opposite it, the screens changing colours and flashing to the beat of the music, which was identical to the one pumping through the club. 

 

Smack dab right in the middle of the room was a single circular platform with a pole connecting it and the ceiling, the platform elevated to waist level. Garrus shifted in his seat, getting comfortable as Shepard opened up the console hidden in the wall nearby, choosing a song before she hopped up onto the dais, gripping the pole to swing around once to get a feel for it.

 

Yeah, uh huh

Yeah, yeah

 

Shepard let a smirk cross her lips as she let the beat of the song control the movement of her hips as she pressed up against the pole, her hands caressing the metal as if it were flesh, her tongue slipping out to wet her lips seductively.

 

Broke up with my girl last night, so I went to the club

Put on a fresh white suit and a Mini Coupe sittin' on dubs

I'm just lookin' for somebody to talk to and show me some love

If you know what I mean? Uh huh

 

Taking a tiny step back, she twisted around to lean her back against the metal, her head arched back to expose her throat. He always loved it when she did that. Gyrating to the music, she crouched down and straightened up slowly, her hands trailing from her ankles, to her thighs, teasingly hiking up her skirt to expose her panties for a second before letting it drop, covering the black lace again.

 

Everybody jockin' me as soon as I stepped in the spot

200 *** and I'm bettin' ain't none of them hot

'Cept for this pretty young thang that was workin' all the way at the top

Shawty, what is your name?

 

She heard a quiet huff and chuckled to herself, her hands never stopping their journey up her body. They lingered around her waist before reaching up to cup her full breasts, pushing them up and together before leaving them to flutter around her neck, her face, then through her silken hair before touching the metal once more.

 

Ooh, she made us drinks to drink, we drunk 'em, got drunk

And then I think she thinks I'm cool

She gave me a wink, I winked back

And then I think that we hit it off, something proper like

 

She winked at him, and he winked back, making her smile fondly even as she grasped the pole tightly and pulled her body upwards, spreading her legs to give him a glimpse of her underwear and thighs again before she crossed them over the bar. Twisting her body tightly yet as gracefully as she could, she leaned her body such that she exposed her front to him upside down, her thighs and legs holding her securely to the pole.

 

Shepard saw his predatory gaze rake over her offered body, his hand shifting to his crotch where there was a slight bulge. It looked like his plates had shifted halfway, which made Shepard all the more eager to make him expose his member fully before jumping him like she always did.

 

I like the bartender

(Ooh, if you're lookin' for me)

I'm at the bar with her

(Ooh, uh huh, okay)

 

She reached down and touched the floor, her legs loosening as soon as her palms were flat on the ground, supporting her weight as she transitioned into a handstand to get back onto the ground. Shifting her weight to one side, her legs touched the platform without a sound, and she pulled herself to her feet once more, immediately going for the pole to turn her back to her turian lover, swinging her hips from side to side to undulate her waist, her legs spread. 

 

I like the bartender

(Yeah, if you're lookin' for me)

I'm at the bar with her

(Ooh, uh huh, okay)

 

Curling her spine forwards, she pushed her chest outwards and into the pole, her butt offered to the man as she turned her head to look at him over her shoulder. She swayed to the beat, watching as his eyes darkened even more in desire, his fingers stroking the growing bulge in his pants. Just a little bit more and she could end this game; she was aching to touch him as he did himself.

 

Got a brand new girl, so I'm feelin' all good inside

Feel like I put some brand new 24's on a brand new ride

Triple shot of Patron on the rocks with little bit of lime

I'm just keepin' it real

 

Pulling out of her offered stance, she swung around the pole once, ending up with the pole between her and him, her silhouette forming a slight shadow over him. She crouched with her knees spread wide, the pole cradled between her thighs and pushed between her breasts, the fabric stretching to accommodate her breasts being pushed upwards and outwards. 

 

Baby still workin' at the club, so I'm gettin' in free

Wednesday night, I'm on the list, 'T-Pain + 3'

Every time I hit the spot, baby girl takin' care of me

How do you think I feel?

 

Licking her lips once more, she rocked her hips against the pole, her hands fluttering over the metal like it was a lover, her lips parting in a near silent moan, and she knew that did it for him. The bulge in his pants twitched and he jerked, a growl leaving his throat and reverberating through her body even through the music.

 

Shepard leaned against the pole as she straightened up, leaving the bar behind as she stepped down from the platform, her hips swaying as she sashayed over to his seated form. His eyes were locked onto hers as she leaned towards him, her hands raising to brace themselves on his broad shoulders as she lifted one knee onto the sofa at his side.

 

Ooh, she made us drinks to drink, we drunk 'em, got drunk

And now I know she thinks I'm cool

She gave me a wink, I winked back

And then I think that we gon' have fun at my spot tonight

 

He moved to touch her, but she grabbed one of his hands gently, leaning up to his ear to whisper, “Just enjoy.” Then she licked a trail from his unscarred cheek to the neck of his shirt, nipping the exposed skin between his plates playfully. Garrus hissed between his teeth as she brought her other knee up onto the sofa, effectively straddling him yet holding herself above his lap. 

 

Instead of reaching for her waist, he contents himself by placing his gloved hands on her thighs, rubbing his thumbs across the soft flesh. Grinning, she presses her lips to his, her tongue sneaking out to lick his mouth plates, darting in as soon as he opened them. Touching his tongue to hers, Garrus purred deep in his chest, gripping her thighs as tightly as he dared to restrain himself from throwing her down onto the sofa to ravage her senseless.

 

As if sensing his thoughts, Shepard undid the clasps to his shirt quickly, trailing fingers down the plates that she had memorized on the way to Illium. The dips and smooth surfaces of his plated chest and abdomen never ceased to enthral her, despite how different they were. Reaching his waist, she dug her fingers into the exposed skin gently, watching him gasp and buck below her with the stimulus. 

 

Combining her clever fingers with her devious tongue and lips on his mandible, Garrus knew she was out to drive him insane. With the show she put on earlier, his desire had been enkindled, coupled with the private show and her ministrations upon his body, and he knew his patience was running thin. Either she was going to do something or he was just going to submit to his growing want.

 

Shepard sighed against his scarred mandible as she felt for the clasp holding his pants together, rubbing the bulge teasingly, feather light, and was rewarded with a tight groan and the bulge growing even bigger and hotter. Once she had his clasp undone and his fly unzipped, she left the warmth of his body to kneel on the floor, her face hovering above the large bump that was still covered by the fabric of his trousers. 

 

“Spirits, you’re a tease, Shepard,” Garrus groaned as she breathed onto his fabric covered groin, peeling the strained fabric off his throbbing member. With a gasp, he was exposed and she grasped the base of his throbbing cock, pumping her hand slowly from root to tip. 

 

Enjoying the gasping moans that came from his mouth, Shepard lowered her head and licked up the underside of his curved cock, making sure to dip her tongue in and around the ridges. While her tongue was tormenting his pulsing member, she sneaked a finger into the small gap between the base of his cock and the lower groin plates, gently rubbing the soft flesh she found there. 

 

Garrus threw his head back and roared, a drop of precum beading on the head of his cock, causing Shepard to grin and envelop it in her warm mouth. It took all of his will not to grab the woman’s head and force it down his length, but Garrus managed, his hands clenching and unclenching at his side. Bobbing her head up and down slowly, Shepard used her tongue to lick the underside of his cock, as difficult as it was – Garrus was much bigger than the men she slept with previously – her finger still attending to the thin membrane separating his balls.

 

Within a minute Garrus was huffing and growling under his breath, his thighs trembling as Shepard sucked hard, and his hands finally drifting up to Shepard’s shoulders. She could feel his claws dig into her shoulders through the fabric of his gloves, but the fact that he was slowly losing control drove her wild. Suddenly, she rose up and off his cock with a wet pop, his member standing at attention, wet and glistening in the flashing lights all around them.

 

“Wha- Shepard!” Garrus whimpered, his cock so hard that he almost felt like it would burst any minute. “Shep- Ah fuck!” She had reached up with a hand to scratch the sensitive skin behind his head, causing his mouth to drop open at the sensation of both his hard as granite cock and the electricity jolting down his spine from his head. 

 

The commander could only chuckle evilly and rise to her feet, breaking contact with Garrus’ body. She turned around, peeping over her shoulder at his trembling form, “Help me unzip my dress, would you?”

 

“I’ll do something better,” he growled and ran his hands up her thighs, under her skirt and hiked up her dress to her waist. With the dress so tight, Garrus could see the outline of his hands as he quickly pushed the tight fabric up and over her breasts after a brief struggle, also pulling up her bra at the same time. In one fell swoop, Shepard was bare from the clavicle downwards, save for her black lace panties.

 

Shepard moaned breathily as he shed his gloves deftly, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her down onto his lap and pressed his chest up against her back. She could feel his angry erection pressing against her ass, the tip nudging the skin above her panties. Then, his hands distracted her as they delved into her underwear, circling her clit like she taught him to, a single digit slipping into her tight sheathe, making her cry out as it curled to trace her inner walls. “Ah! Garrus!” she gasped, his tongue finding the curve of her neck and lathering it with his saliva and rough tongue.

 

All she could do was squirm as he continued to play her body like the finest instrument, her legs spread wide open with her knees hooked over his thighs, leaving her open to his delicious torture.

 

“Enough of the games, Garrus,” she breathed into his cheek, her next word catching in her throat as he added another finger into her pussy. 

 

A chuckle answered her, “And who started the game first?” But he acquiesced all the same, pushing her off his lap to pull her panties down her legs quickly. He remembered the scolding he got for ripping her previous set of panties; and these looked expensive. About to turn around, Shepard was caught by surprise as he gripped her by the hips and threw her onto the sofa next to him, pinning her with his weight as he pushed his pants down to mid-thigh, enough to allow him to move comfortably without his trousers getting in the way.

 

Shepard loved how he asserted his dominance on her, how vulnerable she felt with herself entirely bare and he with only his chest and member exposed. He teased her, nudging the head against her nub a few times until she hissed in frustration, “If you don’t put your cock in me, I swear I’ll-!”

 

She did not manage to finish her threat as he pushed an inch into her. “You were saying?” he purred in her ear, one hand holding her wrists and bracing his weight while the other squeezed and played with her breast.

 

“Put your fucking cock in me, damnit!” she nearly growled and raised her hips to pull him in deeper.

 

But the damned turian was the biggest jerk ever, Shepard secretly thought to herself as he pinned her hips down with the hand that was massaging her breast, preventing her from moving any further.

 

“I don’t hear you begging for it,” she could feel his grin as he nuzzled her cheek. She could only squirm futilely until she nearly drove herself insane with lust.

 

“Fuck me,” she groaned and arched her back, pressing her chest to his.

 

“What was that?” he hummed, raising his head to stare into her eyes.

 

“I said, fuck me!” she growled, the heat between her legs becoming an unbearable burn as the head of his cock remained nudging her opening but not moving.

 

“Can’t quite hear you, love,” he purred in smug satisfaction, causing her to throw her head side to side.

 

“Fuck me! Fuck me until my pussy is raw, until I can’t think of anything else but your cock in me!” she cried, her tone begging as her eyes locked with his. He nodded, as though to tell her to go on, making her eyes narrow as the words tumbled out of her mouth, “Just fuck me! Make me cum, fuck me hard, fuck me so hard that I’m spoiled for other men forever! Claim me, ravage me, put your fucking brand on me. Now fuck me hard!”

 

“Aye aye, ma’am!” he grinned widely as he snapped his hips forward, burying his entire length within her. The feeling of ultimate fullness made her arch her back and cry out loud.

 

“Ah, Garrus!” his name became a litany on her lips as he pistoned his hips back and forth, his member a searing brand within her as his ridges rubbed her walls deliciously. He let go of her wrists to better balance himself, and she looped her arms around his neck inside his cowl, pressing her cheek up against his scarred one as she panted into his ear.

 

His growl reverberated through her body as she shook from the force of his thrusts, her hips literally being nailed through the sofa. He continued at a pace she would never dream of catching up to, and all she could do was cry out his name and pant erratically as she felt herself being driven to the edge.

 

“Garrus, I-!” she threw her head back as she came with a cry, his head snapping down to encircle her throat in his jaws gently, her walls pulsing and clenching at his cock until he grunted and came with a mighty spurt within her. She moaned as she felt the heat of his cum coating her insides, the twitching of his member and her walls milking it making her orgasm again, this time more gently than the first. 

 

With a quiet sigh, he rested his head in the cradle of her neck and shoulder, feeling her chest rise and fall with every breath she took to regain her senses. It was a comfortable silence that filled the air –save for the thumping bass from the music- and they were content to merely be in the other's presence, until Shepard sighed.

 

“What is it?” Garrus lifted his head to look at her.

 

“Maybe I should do this for you all the time, if that’s the reaction I’ll get,” she smirked at him and was rewarded with a grin and a press of their foreheads.

 

“Is that a promise?”

 

“You bet it is.”


End file.
